He's Got a Sneeze Guard on His Toilet

Teen girl: I'm not saying I wish I had a penis. It would just be nice to be able to pee standing up.
Teen guy: Peeing standing up is a lot like eating grapefruit... One wrong move, and you could squirt yourself in the eye.
Teen girl: Oh my god... seriously?

--Famous Original Ray's Pizza, 7th Ave

via Overheard in New York, Nov 2, 2006