All Wednesday One-Liners Over Six Ounces Will Be Confiscated
[Plane lands, bounces 20 feet into the air, finally slams back to earth, knocking all the oxygen masks out.]
Flight attendant: Thank you for choosing American Airlines, ladies and gentlemen, obviously we have have landed...

--LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: M. Smith/Terrified Passenger

Flight attendant: Chicken or beef? Chicken or beef? ... Don't think about it too long honey, then both taste like cardboard.

--United Flight

Flight attendant: We have two lavatories in the back of the plane and one in the front. Please use them.

--LaGuardia Airport

Pilot: Remember, there are 50 ways to leave your lover, but only 8 ways out of this aircraft.

--JFK Runway

Overheard by: cms

Pilot, after an unusually smooth landing: God damn, that landin' was butta!

--Jet Blue JFK


via Overheard in New York, Jun 4, 2008