Just Staple Her Mouth Shut Will Work Too

Jessica Simpson is seeking the services of a “food cop” to help her regulate her dietary intake and police her expanding waistline.

The 28-year-old singing star has become a hot topic of tabloid fodder after debuting a fuller figure at a concert in Florida last month, just re-hired former trainer Mike Alexander to make sure that she sticks to a strict new 1,250-calorie-a-day regimen.

“She just can’t resist junk food,” a Star Magazine insider explains. “She literally needs to be watched 24/7.”

“Jessica has a problem with binge eating, which is usually triggered by stress…”

The snitch adds, “Jessica’s most recent violation was indulging in the terrible trio of chicken wings, nachos, and booze at the Great Dane Pub in Madison Wisconsin.”

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