Jessica Simpson And Jessica Alba Has A New Competitor In Being A Dumb Skank

Aw. The dumb fucking moron thinks she's smart. If I wasn't busy throwing up with my eyes at her nasty ass skankness, I'd actually feel sorry for her. You just want to pat her on the head (with 10 latex gloves on, of course) and tell her to quit hurting her half brain cell. Not everyone was meant to know the answer to 2+3 (I spend my off-time trying to figure that one out).

Over in London, Wonky McValtrex once again tried to convince everyone she's not dumb. She just plays dumb on TV! Nope, she's a dumb dumb. Stupid. Idiotic. Witless. Shit-brained. Moronic.

Wonky started to say, "For five seasons I was stuck doing this character. It was kind of hard always having to play that character when it's not who I am." Let me cut you off there. Before you say anything, I just want you to know....you're dumb. Dumb. She went on to say, "I just say jokes but they think I'm serious, which I think is funny...." Stop. You're hurting yourself. You're dumb. True fact. Dumb. The world knows it. You are D-U-M-- Wait. I shouldn't spell it out. That's too much for her. And she went on, "....and I think I kind of play up the image sometimes because – whatever – it's just entertainment."

Why does she even try? Even Corky from Life Goes On and Harvey Price are screaming in unison, "You're a dumb fucking whore bitch with stupid in the brains!" She probably thinks that her head shakes uncontrollably after she says more than two syllables because its brain powers are so intense. No, it's because its fucking flatlining.

I mean, here's an example of Wonky Einstein's genius. When she was asked who the Prime Minister of England was, she answered, "I had lunch at his restaurant yesterday – Gordon Ramsay." You know she wasn't joke-telling. But she's absolutely right. Prime Minister Gordon Ramsay has weekly phone chats with our American president: President Chuck E. Cheese.

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