If It Were Up to Me, We Would've "Accidentally" Left Them Home Alone
Flight attendant: In case of an emergency, please place the oxygen mask on yourself first. You may then help your favorite child or the one with the most potential.
Well dressed father: Which one would that be?
Bored mother: Neither.

--JFK

Overheard by: Glad my kids weren't with me
via Overheard in New York, Mar 24, 2009