And I Put a Blanket Over the Gin-Filled Kiddie Pool

Mother: I swear, the next time you're late coming to see me... I mean, I'll give you five minutes and then I'm gone.
Daughter: I couldn't help it. They were doing room inspections and I had to stick around.
Mother: Room inspections?
Daughter: Yeah, they come around and check your rooms, make sure there's like no lights or no alcohol.
Mother: What about the alcohol I gave you?
Daughter: They don't open drawers.

--Pizza Place near Columbia University

via Overheard in New York, May 19, 2009