Sure...Blame It On The Pasta!!!!

As if Amy Wino couldn't get even more naturally beautiful, she's now sporting a beauty mark on her leg. A beauty mark that probably matches an open wound on Wonky McValtrex's vag lips.

Wino's spokeswhore blamed the burn on a rogue crack pipe boiling pot of pasta. Apparently, Wino was trying to do some cooking shit in St. Lucia when a pot accidentally tipped over and sprayed her leg with hot water. Wino's got enough of the bad shit in her system, so she just shrugged it off, snorted some of the dead skin and went on with her life.

Looking at that shit is making my nails crack, but Wino hardly feels any pain! A source told The Sun she's going around the island like nothing, “Amy’s wounds looked so painfully sore — she really should cover them up or get herself under an umbrella. They were covered in sand too. We couldn’t believe she wasn’t keeling over in pain.” Yeah, well, it's a scientific fact that a river full of crack running through your veins kills pain!

Every time I see nasty wounds like this, I always want to pour rubbing alcohol over it to watch it sizzle and crack. I bet if I did that to Wino, that shit would light up and everyone in the room would instantly be riding on a white cloud from the contact high.

DListed

Amy Wino Should Be So Lucky

In a huge blow to the singer BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL is said to be "besotted" with FRANCESCA MORRALEE, 17, who he has been seeing since filing for divorce from the troubled star. The pair have NOT yet consummated their relationship but have written 'stacks' of love letters to each other while he was behind bars and declared their feelings in emotional phone calls.

She has also told pals that she's "so in love" with the 26-year-old.

Blake was freed from Edmunds Hill Prison on Wednesday after serving time for GBH and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.

Vicar’s grand-daughter Francesca, who calls herself Fran, hid in the back of his mum Georgette’s car when he was released and has not returned to school since. She was said to be relieved when she was mistaken for German model SOPHIE SCHANDORFF, 22, who he has been previously linked to. bahahahahahaha

Fran - whose Facebook picture shows her holding a Valentine’s Day balloon from Blake - yesterday said she did not want to talk about the relationship but insisted: "He hasn’t cheated on Amy."

A friend said: "They are trying to keep the whole thing under wraps.

"It’s been going on since him and Amy separated. He filed for divorce and only then did he ask her out officially.

"They tell each other that they love each other. They seem so happy together he is absolutely devoted to her even though it is early days.

"He has promised her he wants nothing to do with Amy. She speaks to his mum every day and tries to get through to Blake but he doesn’t want to know.

"Georgette has also reassured her that he has cut all ties with Amy. Blake is in rehab now but when he gets out they want to live together."

Fran’s family are 'aware' of the relationship.

The pal said: "They are willing to give him a chance. As long as he doesn’t hurt Fran they are ok with it."

The day before Blake was released from prison she wrote on her Facebook page: "Fran can’t wait for Wednesday x".

After his release she posted a message saying to say she had spent "the best day" with him.

Blake’s mum this week denied Blake had cheated on Amy. She said: "Blake’s been a bad lad when it comes to drugs but he hasn't once cheated on Amy.

"He has a close circle of friends who have helped him through prison. They’ve been there for Blake when his own wife wasn’t.

"But he’s not got another woman - absolutely not. The last thing he wants right now is another relationship."

Source

Princess Crackhead Just Can't Win

Ah, man. The Winehouse just can't win. It's like she's constantly the star of her own country song. She's bare-footed, broken-hearted, the bars won't serve her kind, but she smokes it all away with scraped resin tears. Or something like that.

Well, now we can add "just robbed" to the list. Even though she's still on her never-ending holiday in St. Lucia, Amy had plans to return to London this weekend to work on that imaginary third album (which is turning into her verison of Chinese Democracy).

Someone who doesn't like her much (Blaaaaaake's blokes?) broke into her flat and stole
£15,000 worth of loot. The bandits made away with a flat screen TV, digital recording equipment and five guitars. Five guitars!
"Amy is devastated. Some of the guitars are irreplaceable due to their sentimental value. The flat is in a real state. It had been cleaned up in preparation for her return. Now she will have to start from scratch to replace what has been stolen."

Socialitelife

Super Cracktina To The Rescue!!!!

Amy Winehouse has been hailed a hero after rescuing a woman.

The 'Rehab' singer dashed to the aid of 39-year-old Louise Williams who got into difficulties during a sailing lesson close to Amy's hotel in St. Lucia when a 6ft wave struck her boat, throwing her overboard onto rocks.

Louise told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "I was bowled over by her kindness. She went out of her way to help.

"A six-foot wave caught the boat and I went flying and hit a rock.

"Amy was on the beach 20 metres away and she ran across immediately and said, 'Let's have a look at you.' She picked me up and took me across to the showers and was constantly asking, 'Are you all right?' "

After helping Louise wash her cuts and fetching dry towels to wrap her in, Amy proudly posed for a picture with Louise, an admin worker from Plymouth.

Amy, 25, has spoken about the incident, saying: "I thought she was going to die."

Source

Amy Winehouse Is In Denial

Shocking photos have shown her on all fours and apparently swiping drinks – but Amy Winehouse insists: “I’m not out of control!”

And the 25-year-old singer, who is on holiday in St Lucia, has hit back at those who claim her debauched antics are wrecking the peace and quiet of the island’s £200-a-night Le Sport Spa resort.

Amy said: “People think I’m a mess or something but I’m having such a great time and feeling so good at the moment.


“I’m certainly not out of control as some people have said.

“Yes, I’ve had a few drinks but I’m on holiday – I’m just young and having fun.”

Spotty and frail before her break, Amy now looks fresh-faced and has a healthy tan. She added: “I’m getting loads of exercise, eating brilliantly and I’ve really been able to relax.

“I wasn’t really eating properly before with everything going on around me, but it’s different now.”

Sipping a Long Island Iced Tea, Amy looks up to say hello to a number of guests as they walk by.

They greet her warmly – it’s hard to believe this is the same woman supposedly terrorising the exclusive five-star resort.

Yet according to some reports, disgruntled hotel staff won’t serve Amy any more alcohol and she has resorted to crawling around “begging” horrified guests for drinks.

So what does she make of the pictures that emerged this week? Amy, who insists she was just mucking around, said: “It’s a shame that people judge me on every picture someone sends back home, but I’ve grown to accept that it’s a price you have to pay.

“It’s sad, but what can I do about it? If I wanted a drink and they had refused to serve me, there’s plenty of other places to go. It’s ridiculous.” She also laughs off reports that her behaviour has been so bad that her cab driver dad Mitch, 57, had flown over for urgent showdown talks.

“Even my dad coming to spend some time with me ends up being shown as drama,” said Amy.

“We watched an FA Cup match together and didn’t have talks at all. Yes, he likes to check on me – he’s my Dad – but we were more interested in Southend.”

Amy, who practises yoga on the beach, has been stunned by the level of interest in her.

She said: “It’s strange being on holiday and being watched all the time. But I’m not the sort to hide away and shun the world, and that’s not going to change – ever.”

Although she is about to leave the resort for a secluded private villa, she has not decided when to return to the UK. She said: “I want a bit more peace and quiet, away from all those cameras.

“To me, I am in the best place I have been in ages. I’m looking forward to the future.”

Mirror

How Will Blake Going To Pay For His Crack????

Amy Winehouse's husband is unlikely to get the £5m divorce settlement he is said to want because he has been in prison, an expert said.

Blake Fielder-Civil is reported to be battling for half the singer's £10m fortune after seeking a divorce on the grounds of Winehouse's infidelity.

But one divorce lawyer said a spouse's entitlement is linked to what contribution they made to their partner's success — and that Fielder-Civil cannot have been of any support to Winehouse while behind bars.

Anne-Marie Hutchinson, of Dawson Cornwell Solicitors, said: “He will start at 50:50 of all assets acquired during the marriage, before Amy Winehouse starts discounting until they reach an agreement.

“Considering he has been in prison for the last year, during that time [his contribution] was not a lot.”

This Is London

Amy Winehouse Is Still Crazy

Amy Winehouse has been stealing alcohol from her hotel in St. Lucia.

The troubled singer has resorted to desperate measures after resort staff promised her management they wouldn't serve her drinks at the lavish destination, where Amy is planning to stay for another two months.

A source said: "We keep catching her crawling past bars or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests' drinks and runs off like a squirrel with a nut."

Amy - who begins her day with a yoga class - is also said to be begging fellow holidaymakers to get alcoholic drinks from the bar to take to her room but is infuriating guests with her bizarre behaviour.

One guest said: "One minute she is very pleasant saying, 'Alright darling' and talking to people and having photos taken. Then next she is throwing things and swearing her head off."

Another added to Britain's The Sun newspaper: "She's like a child craving attention. It's embarrassing. She comes in for dinner barefoot and in her bikini, even though the dress code is smart casual.

"Then she will go and sit on her balcony topless playing the guitar when she knows everyone is trying to sleep."

Female First

Blake Wants A Divorce From Amy

Jailbird Blake Fielder-Civil has instructed a lawyer to begin divorce proceedings against Amy Winehouse after seeing pictures of the singer cavorting with another man in the Caribbean.

Celebrity lawyer Henri Brandman told MailOnline that Blake had instructed him to launch the action on the grounds of Amy's adultery. It is thought that Blake will go for half of Amy's £10 million fortune.

The move comes as loved-up Amy told a Sunday newspaper that she has finally kicked her drug habit. The star also admitted that she had 'forgotten I'm even married' to Blake, claiming 'our whole marriage was based on doing drugs'.

DailyMail

Amy's Latest Victim

What about Blaaaaaake?! Blaaake! Blaaaaake! I'll scream his name while running down the street barefoot since Wino obviously isn't anymore! Instead she's screaming Joooooshhhh. Joooosh. That shit just isn't the same. Your vocal cord doesn't wiggle when you scream Jooossshh. Josh should think about changing his name to something that's easier to scream. Think of the Wino!

Anyway, Josh Bowman is the name of the hot piece Wino has apparently been getting close to while on her neverending St. Lucia holiday. The Sun says Josh is some kind of rugby player and met Wino while on vacation with his mommy and sister.

I know what all of you are thinking, "What is that hunk of man doing with that gutter troll?!" You whores are so superficial! Maybe Josh loves the way the sun slightly melts her zombie skin in the morning. Maybe Josh loves tasting heroin snot and coke loogies when he kisses Wino. Or maybe he's always just gotten a boner for Gargamel. Whatever the reason may be, it's a good thing Wino is sucking on the skin pipe instead of the crack pipe!

DListed

Prince Crackead Should Just Remain In Jail

Amy Winehouse was allegedly given drugs by her husband when he visited her last week.

Friends of the troubled singer are said to be furious with Blake Fielder-Civil - who dashed to Amy's bedside last week before returning to prison after failing a court-ordered drugs test - after he gave her the illegal substances in The London Clinic.

Amy had been clean for 10 days after being admitted to the medical facility following a reported drink-and-drugs binge.

A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Blake has a lot to answer for. His actions have ruined his wife's efforts to get clean."

Female First

Blake Wants Amy's Money

Blaaaake recently told The News of the World that he's going to save Wino by leaving her and not asking for any of her crack pennies. He must have woke up and smelled the heroin smoke, because Blaaaake is looking to cash in. A friend told the NOTW that Blaaake was telling lies and really wants £1 million from the Crackie of Camden. He's threatened her management that if he doesn't get what he wants, he's going to write a tell-all.

Blaaake is going to have to wrestle Wino's money away from her crack pipe. Good luck. And what can he tell us bout Wino that hasn't been told? Just go to any gossip blog and click their "Amy Wino" category and there's your fucking tell-all! Although, I would love to know what the inside of Wino's crackhive is like. It probably looks like this.

Blaaake's mommy, Georgette, piped in and said Wino's daddy has already offered her son £50,000 to go through with a divorce. She said, "Mitch’s £50,000 offer was an insult. Amy’s worth £10 million and Blake’s her husband. He’s entitled to at least £3 million after all he’s been through with her.'"

After all he's been through? The slug hasn't even been around. He's been in the chokey licking taints for heroin rocks! Georgette should really see a doctor about the genetic disease she suffers from called Delusionaltwatitis.

DListed

A Crackhead Is Always A Crackhead

Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil has failed a drugs test as part of his probationary requirement and is returning to jail.

Fielder-Civil is understood to have failed the blood test while in drugs rehab and been ordered back to prison.

He has spent the best part of this year in jail for assault and attempting to pervert the course of justice. He was only released from prison last month.

Just a few days ago, Fielder Civil told a tabloid of the extent of his drug-taking with award-winning singer Miss Winehouse, how he introduced his wife to hard drugs, and his fear as she collapsed with a seizure after an all-day binge.

The music video assistant, who is currently in a drug rehabilitation centre, broke down as he told the News of the World how Amy, 25, asked him to let her try crack cocaine as she watched him taking it.

Previously the singer had only tried cannabis.

DailyMail

Prince Crackhead Blames Himself... And Rightly So...

GUILT-RACKED Blake Fielder-Civil last night sensationally admitted HE got wife Amy Winehouse hooked on heroin, crack cocaine and self-harm—and vowed to end their marriage to stop her killing herself.

Breaking down in tears, Blake told the News of the World: “ I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful.

“Now I have to let her go to save her life. I am not abandoning her. I am doing this out of love.”

You can hear excerpts from Blake's taped interview by clicking on the video player above. He finally took the blame for the pitiful state the Back to Black singer is in as she recovered in hospital from what her spokesman claimed was a “reaction to medication”.

Blake, who is in a rehab clinic as a condition of his early jail release, sobbed: “I have had to live with that for the past year that I have been in prison and I have got so much remorse.

“I feel like killing myself. I feel like f***** dying.”

Source

The status of the icky, co-dependent marriage between ailing singer Amy Winehouse and recently un-incarcerated husband Blake Fielder Civil is getting weirder and weirder. First, Amy didn’t even attempt to see Blake after his release from prison earlier this week. Then, her father confirmed that Amy didn’t even know that her beloved Blakie And now, it’s been revealed that when Blake asked Amy for £30,000 to foot the bill for the rehab program he’s been ordered to complete, she refused to cover it. Sources say the marriage is hanging by a thread.

I don’t know if I believe that Amy doesn’t care. The day Blake was released, Amy was photographed more out of it than ever, with eye makeup smeared all over her face as if she’d been crying. But if it’s true that she’s not paying Blake’s bills anymore, that’s a good sign. It’s too bad that Amy won’t consider rehab herself, though.

In other related crack news:

Amy Winehouse is in secret negotiations with her lawyers about divorcing husband Blake Fielder-Civil, it has emerged.
Winehouse asked family members to speak to a solicitor — hours after her hubby’s release from prison.

The singer is afraid over the money Fielder-Civil will get from her estimated 10 million pounds fortune.

The latest twist in the couple’s 18-month marriage came just hours after Fielder-Civil asked Winehouse to pay his 30,000 pounds rehab fees. And after he said: “I am gonna see my wife and take her knickers down.”

Winehouse now refuses to see him while he is in rehab at the Life Works centre in Woking, Surrey. “The family saw a solicitor this week. Amy fears Blake’s just after her money,” News of the World quoted a source, as saying.

“Amy woke up and smelt the roses when Blake tried to get her to pay the 30,000 pounds rehab bill.

“Lawyers said Blake stands little chance of getting a huge pay-out.

“For the first time ever Amy has her mind on the notion of divorce. All her family and friends are delighted,” the source added.

Source
Source

Cracktina Of Camden Is Still Crazy

Amy Winehouse launched herself at the paparrazzi yet again last night as they gathered outside her north London flat.

Rocking a white tea towel on her head, Wino was immediately calmed down by her father Mitch and did not make any contact with the photographers….this time.

The altercation occurred as her hubby Blake Fielder-Civil was checking out of prison and straight into rehab.

Amy’s Blakey came to the fence of the Life Works rehabilitation facility today to offer photogs a wave hello and send a message to his wife. As a condition of his release from prison, which happened yesterday, the courts demanded that Blake check into a rehab facility immediately.

Miss Winehouse’s two-day long rage came as a result of spending another night alone without her man after almost 12 months of separation.

Distance may make the heart grow fonder, but it also makes a certain someone’s blood bubble.

Faded Youth

Maybe it's Crackelline?

It was business as usual for our little Crackie of Camden today. On the same day that her beloved Blaaaake traded in prison heroin for rehab heroin, Wino went berserk on the pappies outside her cave for reasons unknown. Actually, there is a reason. She's Wino and she unleashes her fury on anything shiny in front of her. You should see her poor toaster. The thing is beat down thanks to her. Just remember that if you see Wino on the street, run the other way or take off your jewelry and get ready to rumble.
After Wino handled the paps, she went off to THE CLINIC, where's she been receiving treatment on and off for her zombie condition. Wino apparently didn't see her Blaaaake at all today. Maybe she was wailing for her Blaaaakey and that's why she's got eyeliner jizz all over her face?

Here's some pictures of Wino attacking the paps, falling over in the cab, being grumpy, then being smiley today. The crackhive is still on vacation. I hope it's not permanent. What's Wino without her hive?! That's like The Empress of Lucite with her exquisite lucite heels.

DListed

Princess Cracktina On Suicide Watch

Amy, 25, is said to be on suicide watch after apparently holding a knife to her chest and saying, "What's the point in living?"

It is claimed the 'Back to Black' singer is obsessed with the idea of dying young and was left distraught after her husband Blake Fielder-Civil - currently serving a 27-month sentence for grievous bodily harm and perverting the course of justice - turned down early parole from prison, leaving Amy saying she is "caught up in a nightmare".

A source close to Amy told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Her friends managed to get the knife away from her but are now holding a 24-hour suicide watch.

"Amy has a death wish. Her emotions are exaggerated She is either high all the time or when she hears something she doesn't like, she's suicidal.

"She is all for this stupid Sid Vicious notion of dying young. She is not scared of it and believes it is her destiny."

To add to Amy's woes, her father Mitch has allegedly received a violent and threatening letter from Blake, 26.

Female First

Amy Winehouse's Blake To Stay In Jail

Blake Fielder-Civil could have walked free tomorrow on the condition that he wore a tag on his leg and moved in with his mother Georgette in Nottingham. He would have had to obey a 7pm curfew and not been able to stay with Amy in Camden but at least he would have been free. Well living like a 13 year old again with his Mum, but free.

However Blake refused to accept any parole that wasn't being back with Amy full time. Or that wouldn't allow him to go out on the lash in Camden.

A source said:

“It was all set for him to be released, but because he refused to go to anywhere other than Camden, it was refused at the last minute. The Prison Service feared he would break his parole if he was surrounded by the temptations of his old stomping ground.”

Is this the biggest case of 'No shit Sherlock' or what? Amy will just have to wait until December now to see Blake released, and boy will she look great to welcome him home!

HolyMoly

UPDATE:

AMY WINEHOUSE's jailed husband is set to spend Christmas (08) behind bars after failing a second drugs test, according to reports.

Blake Fielder-Civil is serving a 27 month sentence at Highpoint prison in Suffolk, England for causing actual bodily harm (ABH) and perverting the course of justice.

The Back to Black hitmaker had hoped that her partner would be released on 30 December (08) for good behaviour.

However, Fielder-Civil is said to have been denied an early exit, after reportedly failing two drugs tests.

A source tells British newspaper The People, "She (Winehouse) has spent all summer trying to get herself clean and wanted Blake home. She is deeply saddened that she will be spending New Year alone."

Source

Amy Winehouse Turns 25

It comes to something when the pin-up girl tattooed on your arm looks better turned out than you do. Even by her own standards, Amy Winehouse appeared underdressed and dishevelled as she cut a tragic figure stumbling through a Camden pub crawl.

Although she celebrates her 25th birthday tomorrow today, the singer's hollow cheeks and tangled mass of hair extensions made her look much older. She arrived two hours late for a performance at the Snakehips session alongside DJ Bioux at her local pub, The Monarch, in North London on Thursday night.

The organisers were forced to announce: 'Miss Winehouse is sorry she will be late.' But this did little to appease an already angry audience. A source revealed: 'The pub was packed at first, until people started to get restless. Many decided to leave before Amy arrived, which left the pub looking quite empty.'

After singing just two songs, she left the stage, muttering to the disgruntled crowd: 'Thanks for coming down. Much obliged.' She appeared distracted throughout the brief set as she chatted to her close pal, musician Alex Wood.

Source

Amy Wino Snorting Coke??? You Don't Say???

The News of the World has a video today, allegedly showing Amy Winehouse snorting cocaine inside a Camden club. Shocking, isn’t it?


"Desperate for a fix, the singer is seen snorting the cocaine off a CD case in full view of partygoers.
Now Amy’s mother-in-law Georgette wants the police to take action and arrest her.
In an exclusive interview she said: “I’m shocked by the video. When I look at Amy I think: ‘For Christ’s sake, just get a grip of yourself.’ Enough is enough. As the police know Amy is a drug addict - and she has now been caught twice on film taking illegal drugs - they should arrest her and put her behind bars. Rehab clinics are a waste of money, unless you want them to work. Amy doesn’t want to give up drugs, so she’s got to learn the hard way in prison. Police have to act. She is making a mockery of the law. It has got to stop."


Man I don’t know. Prison sounds expensive. What's rope cost, like a dollar. Can’t we just hang her? Or back over her with an old car? Human life is precious, but only up to a certain point. For Amy that was about 6 months ago.

Watch The Video Here.

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