Butterface In A Car Accident

Baltimorean and Olympic gold medalist has been involved in a car accident.

The accident happened earlier this evening (last night) at the intersection of Calvert and Biddle Streets in downtown Baltimore.

The accident was between Phelps' vehicle and another vehicle.

One of the passengers in Phelps' car was injured.

The female driver of the other vehicle was also injured and was taken to an area hospital as a precaution.

Phelps was evaluated at the scene but did not require medical attention.

The cause of the crash has not been determined at this time.

Authorities say their investigation is ongoing.

An Update from DListed:

Last night in Baltimore, Poseidon's true son and my bong's favorite swimmer, Michael Phelps, accidentally did anal with a woman's car. The police say that at around 9pm, Michael's Cadillac Escalade collided with a Honda Accord. The two cars also hit a parked car which was empty. Hos on the scene say that the accident happened, because someone ran a red light.

The lady in the Accord got a little banged up and was shuffled off the hospital. Homegirl said her head, arm and wallet was hurting. I'm joking about the wallet part. She's not going to sue (she's totally going to sue). The Associated Press added that there were two passengers in Michael's SUV and neither of them had owwies.

A Dlisted roving reporter (aka a reader named Jay) was on the scene shortly after the accident and here is his account of what happened:

Hey Michael K,

so I'm leaving my apartment tonight in my shithole city of Baltimore, when just two blocks away, I see someone has just wrecked his Escalade into a fucking PARKED car. This guy is hobbling around on the corner, looking drunk and very smug, with no shoes on and rocking a very bro-ish purple football jersey. I then realized it is the world's fastest drunkard/highard Michael Phelps. The whole time he had a stupid shit-eating grin on his face, no doubt induced by the body shots he was probably taking as he ran his Escalade into a parked car. My friend took some photos, only to have Michael Phelps get in his face and demand, "Dude. Delete that photo. DELETE THE PHOTO NOW!"

Definitely drunk, definitely shoeless, and definitely wearing a football jersey. I'm so INTO Michael Phelps right now.

Just for the record, the police say that booze was not a factor in the crash and that they didn't feel the need to drunk test Michael. Personally, if I was a police officer on the scene, I would've tested him. But I wouldn't rely on the regular "field sobriety tests" they usually do. You can't really tell with those. I would've done a Peenalyzer (aka a "Does the jizz taste like vodka" test). It works every time.

By the way, Michael was not having a Chico's kind of night. GONG! Or should I say, BONG!

Source

Butter-Face-Bong-Boy With New Endorsement

The fallout from Michael Phelps' infamous bong photo published last winter in a British tabloid appears to be clearing. Phelps is set to announce his first endorsement since the furor over the photo began. It could be the beginning of a comeback for him on Madison Avenue.

Remember how the 14-time Olympic champion listened to music in warm-ups before winning eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympic Games? Well, Phelps and H20 Audio are set to announce a multiyear partnership Tuesday for the company's line of waterproof sports headphones and accessories.

H20 will feature Phelps in a summer ad campaign, says founder and chief executive Kristian Rauhala.

Source

Phelps Suspended!!!!

Michael Phelps’ day grew lousier by the hour on Thursday.

First he lost a major sponsor, then he got suspended.

The Olympic great was suspended from competition for three months by USA Swimming, the latest fallout from a photo that showed him inhaling from a marijuana pipe.

The sport’s national governing body also cut off its financial support to Phelps for the same three-month period, effective immediately.

“This is not a situation where any anti-doping rule was violated, but we decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people, particularly the hundreds of thousands of USA Swimming member kids who look up to him as a role model and a hero,” the Colorado Springs-based federation said in a statement.

In other related news:

Cereal and snack maker Kellogg Co. says it will not renew its sponsorhip contract with Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps because he has acknowledged smoking marijuana last fall. The Battle Creek, Mich.-based company said Thursday that Phelps's behavior — caught on camera and published Sunday — is "not consistent with the image of Kellogg."

The company put Phelps on boxes of its Frosted Flakes and Corn Flakes.

Phelps has kept the backing of many sponsors since the photos surfaced that showed him inhaling from a marijuana pipe.

Phelps's agent was not immediately available to comment.

Kellogg says its contract with Phelps expires at the end of the month.

Source

Michael Phleps To Be Charged????

South Carolina authorities in the county where Michael Phelps was spotted smoking from a marijuana pipe say they are considering a criminal charge against the Olympic swimmer.

Lt. Chris Cowan said Tuesday that Richland County sheriff's investigators are gathering more information about the photo, which showed Phelps inhaling from a marijuana pipe.

Cowan did not specify what charge was being considered and declined to discuss details of the investigation.

The photograph was first shown in a British tabloid Sunday. News of the World said the picture was taken during a November house party while Phelps was visiting the University of South Carolina.

Phelps issued a public apology.

Source

Michael Phelp's Mom Wants To Delete Lindsay Lohan

If there was ever a better example of how deluded Lindsay Lohan is, we'd like to hear it. Despite apparently preferring the fairer sex these days, Lindsay has not been able to fully contain the heterosexual beast that lurks in her and has developed a liking for Olympic swimming champ Michael Phelps. And how does she intend to catch her slippery quarry? Through his mum of course...

Because yes, Lindsay, what more could a woman who has strived for 23 years to turn her son into the greatest Olympian of the modern age - a clean-living, teeth-gleaming, American pie-eating hero - want more than to set him up with depraved, confused, wanton, fame-hungry waste of skin than you.

We reckon you're in there!

When Lindsay learned that one of her friends, the comically named Billy Bush, was to interview Phelp's mum, the actress sent off a text asking him to ask Mrs Phelps to set up a meeting with her aquatic son.

Lindsay's message read: "Tell him he's fucking amazing, and I want to meet him."

Not surprisingly, Mrs Phelps was in no doubt what to do with the ill-thought-out missive...

When the interviewer showed the mother the text on air, he got the following response. Clearly horrified, Mrs Phelps said: "OK, Lindsay! - Delete! Delete! Delete!"

If only it was as easy to delete people as it is text messages.

HolyMoly

Michael Phelps For Sports Illustrated

The Golden Boy, Michael Phelps, did a shot for Sports Illustrated cover on Sunday night in China. The issue will be ready by tomorrow. Damn, the Olympics is not even over yet!!!!

The shot was inspired by Mark Spitz's cover for Sports Illustrated in 1992 when he won seven gold medals...

Michael Phelps The Golden Boy

Michael Phelps made history last night by winning his 10th and 11th career Olympic gold medals — and breaking world records along the way. Sure, you can call him a butterface, but the man is a machine and is doing things no other Olympic athlete has done before. And his attitude is still pretty impressive, as evidenced by his interview with the lovely Matt Lauer right before the games began.

Mollygood

Arrogant French Put To Shame In A Big Way

So there was this French swimmer who said this:

"The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here for.".

Guess what??? This French swimmer, Alain Bernard got the surprise of his life when the American won gold in in 4x400m freestyle relay last Sunday!!!!!

Loser Arrogant Prick!!!!

Reuters