When A Queen Beats Lady Douchebag

Lily Allen needs to stay away from open bars. She's a grouchy drunk ass bitch! Nobody likes an angry boozer. They always have the worst smelling breath. Dog ass breath! Last night, Lily attended the GQ Awards in London and took advantage of the free champagne. Bitch got tanked....and mouthy!

Lily co-hosted the awards with Elton John and her drinking quickly made his saggy balls itch. Elton, being the bitchy old queen that he is, wouldn't let it go. When Lily told the audience: “And now to the most important part of the night." Elton quickly replied: “What? Are you going to have another drink?” Two snaps and a dildo slap!

Lily didn't let Elton get the last laugh. She answered him back: “Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!” Yeah, and it ain't going to be pretty.

Instead of slapping the ho in the teeth, Elton fired back: “I could still snort you under the table.” It ended with Lily saying: “Fuck off. I don't know what you are talking about.” Lily didn't know what he was talking about, but I'm sure the cokey booger sitting in her nose did.

I love it when two annoying dykes start bickering. I bet Lily was tottering around, trying to hold her vomit. She probably stomped offstage, grabbed Elton by his wig and shouted: "Yooouuuu knooow whaaat you'reeeee prooooblmeee issss?!" Seriously, Lily needs to stick to soda water and wafers. Angry drunks are almost worse than emotional drunks! Don't even get me started on those wet cry babies!

I think Elton and Lily should settle this with a cocaine snort-a-thon! My Monopoly money is on Elton! Lily has already proven that she can't handle her shit like a champ!

DListed

After Two Years.... Two Queens Are Friends Again

Madonna and Sir Elton John have finally called a truce on their high profile feud more than two years after he publicly accused the pop star of lip-synching in an expletive laden outburst.

Introducing the Madonna at this year's GQ Men of the Year Awards in London last night, Sir Elton said: "This is a moment you thought you would never see."

The pair hugged on stage, but the acerbic star couldn't resist a final swipe, adding he had "written a grovelling apology and offered to join the Kabbalah".

This Is London

Elton John Does New York

Gatecrasher reports:

...Elton John celebrated his 60th-birthday weekend in New York with a visit to the infamous Black Party, an annual gay S&M-themed bash at Roseland Ballroom.

He was spotted around 3 a.m. holding court in a small back room with a new pal, described as "a very tall and muscular African-American man wearing black leather."

But our source - who, like Mr. J., was sober - says his visit failed to make much of a stir among the revelers: "Everyone was so messed up on drugs or drink they could have seen anything and hardly noticed or cared."

In other related news, here's a guessing game:

Which pop megastar celebrated his visit to nyc last week with an east Village gogo dancer and gay-for-pay rent boy? "he was fat, completely hairless and doesn't really like being touched," says the young gentleman.

Elton John Can Make You Gay

Apparently people from the islands of Trinidad and Tobago are so scared of Elton John's power to make people gay that the Caribbean show may be cancelled.

Sir Elton John is due to headline the Plymouth Jazz Festival next month in Tobago but the Archdeacon of Trinidad and Tobago is rallying that Elton should be banned because he's gay and the bible doesn't like that. LOL!!!!!!

Archdeacon Philip Isaac said:

"The artiste is one of God's children and while his lifestyle is questionable he needs to be ministered to. His visit to the island can open the country to be tempted towards pursuing his lifestyle."

I can not believe such bigotry..... Is Isaiah Washington from this island? If not, perhaps, he should consider moving there....