Nicole Kidman Loses Alien Baby - TWICE!!!!

Nicole Kidman has stretched the bounds of credibility tighter than the skin on her face by claiming that Tom Cruise got her pregnant not once, but twice during their 11-year marriage.

To add insult to injury, she also told Vanity Fair magazine she had "no regrets" about her marriage, which is a bit like David Gest saying the whole Liza Minnelli thing was "a bit of a giggle".

Kidman has said she became pregnant in the early years of the marriage and again shortly after divorce proceedings began. Neither pregnancies worked out, perhaps due to unhealthy levels of Engrams in her non-Scientologist body.

It does explain why Tom's film roles dropped dramatically during those years, however. It takes a long time in the laboratory, mixing test tubes and casting spells, sorry, saying prayers over bubbling cauldrons, to impregnate a woman who isn't even in the same house.

Holy Moly