Douchebag Getting Fatter With His Britney-Money

Kevin Federline took a mystery woman out last night, and look, I don't want to say he's gotten fat. But I do want to say "Run, bitch, RUN! Holy shit, can't you tell he ate the last one!? Free shoes are not worth your life, lady! RUN!"

That said, do you think Britney's jealous? Not because Kevin's dating or anything, but because he can let himself go without his dad, manager, record label and the state of California locking him in the garage with a sprig of celery for five days. No, seriously, who does she have to kill for a pudding pie around here?

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