When Ashlee Simpson told her big daddy man (that's what she calls him) she was knocked up with a soon-to-be horribly named baby, he probably pictured dollars falling from the sky and into his crotch. The things he was going to do with all that money: a Jessica Simpson real doll, a new "security camera" system for Jessica's house.... the list was endless. Well, there isn't any money falling from the heavens, because nobody wants to pay for pictures of BMw Baby.
A source told Page Six that Ash and Pete are trying to sell the exclusive first pictures of Bronx Mowgli, but there aren't any takers. "Pete and Ashlee have approached every single celebrity magazine with offers to sell their first photos, but nobody wants them. Covers of them tend not to sell well."
The magazines probably realized they could just publish a free picture of a giant chin covered in eyeliner with an Emo wig on top and nobody would really know the difference. Poor little attention whores... I'm sure Papa Joe is already working on Plan B: sell the baby to Hot Topic, Disney, the City of New York or the BMW corporation.