Paris Will F$ck Practically Anyone

Sorry to do this to you guys, but I have some decidedly unpleasant news to bring forth today. It’s times like these that make being a gossip blogger the most difficult job in the world. But here goes — Paris Hilton used to fuck Jack Osbourne. There, I said it. The Sun elaborates, in a recorded interview with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne:

Ozzy said: “Paris was always hanging around our house. I’m not sure if she was a friend of KELLY or AMY — which one was it, Sharon?”

Sharon looked a bit sheepish and stumbled over her words as she replied: “She was Jack’s, erm, friend.” Ozzy’s jaw dropped and he exclaimed: “He didn’t shag her, did he? Well done, my son!”

I’ve already thrown up in my mouth four times in the process of composing this entry — which I assure you has nothing to do with the smell of my Lean Cuisine stuffed cabbages wafting from the direction of the microwave. I don’t know what else to say about this, except thank the holy God in heaven these two didn’t breed. I imagine the outcome would have probably been the fat, somewhat retarded wonky-eyed spawn of Satan himself.


Speaking of getting F#cked, Paris did exactly that to Barbara Walters. Pathetic Barbara Walters thought she was going to interview Paris post-jail by kissing the Hilton's ass but Skank decided to go where the money is.

According to the New York Post, NBC is forking over $1 million for a sit-down interview with the Hollywood outlaw, which will be on the ‘Today’ show the day after Paris leaves Lynwood, rumoured to be Monday.

Paris agreed to the interview, but said she’d only speak with Meredith Vieira because of “disparaging” remarks her co-host Matt Lauer made about her.



Yeeeah