Heidi Montag Is A Virgin And I'm The Virgin Mary

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were guests on Ryan Seacrest's show this morning. Now, Heidi starts going off about being a Christian and leading a Christian life and how Spencer just wants to marry her so he can have sex with her because she is saving herself for marriage and Spencer is saving himself for some cute boy from West Hollywood. No, not really.

As far as you know. Anyway, in the world that is Heidi and Spencer, they sleep together every night, in the same bed, and Spencer says they place pillows between them so they don't touch.

Riiiggggghhhtttt!!!!! What bullshit is this???? I swear these two publicity whores are way too much and should disappear from this world.... what a total waste of air these two.

Speaking of which, Heidi Montag is not only a virgin but she compares herself to Jesus Christ!!!! She told the Chicago Sun-Times of her feud with Lauren:

"There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted, ya know?"

Burn in hell bitch!!!!!!

CDAN

Prince And Princess Douchebags Does A Photo-Op Yet Again

Heidi and Spencer love to take everyday events and turn them into photo shoots so fucking retarded, you'll swear you've been huffing paint all morning. Here some hapless realtor is forced to take part in their shenanigans. But, then again, this man has no soul because he later lied to TMZ about Mr. and Mrs. Cockweasel's real estate potential:

So we thought it was a big publicity stunt, until we called the realtor who showed the property. Sandro Dazzan says they're "serious buyers," although he doesn't think they'll pull the trigger right away. Dazzan stunned us when he said they can afford the $12 million beach house right now, but that they're "at least six months" out from being able to afford the bigger house.

Serious buyers who won't pull the trigger. Interesting, Sandro. So, basically, Heidi showed you her boobs, and you agreed to pretend they've got money? Unless a commission shot out of her nipples, congratulations, you're an idiot. The only way these two can buy a house is if you let them pay in forced smiles and chin wax.

The Superficial

Leave These Douchebags In Iraq, If Ever They Go!!!!

If this isn't a sign that the troops need to come home then I don't know what is. Heidi Montag said that she's going to go to Iraq to perform for the troops. You know, because they haven't been through enough, so we might as well torture them with live singing from Heidi.

The plastic horsey told Extra (via People), “My brother was an airborne ranger in Afghanistan and Iraq. It’s very important to me and important to Spencer to support the troops and go over there." Heidi's stepbrother, who fought in Iraq, passed away last March after he fell off a roof in Colorado.

Spencer said that John McCain's daughter, Meghan, is going to help them get to Iraq, “I think Meghan McCain is helping organize Heidi and our Iraq trip. Her dad definitely has some pull with the military. I think she’s going to put that together for us.”

How about we send Twit and Twat to Guantanamo instead. They won't know the difference. That way we can lock them up and throw away the key. Nobody has to know! It will be America's little secret.

If Heidi Montag performs in Iraq, then the terrorists win.

DListed