Heidi Montag Is A Virgin And I'm The Virgin Mary

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were guests on Ryan Seacrest's show this morning. Now, Heidi starts going off about being a Christian and leading a Christian life and how Spencer just wants to marry her so he can have sex with her because she is saving herself for marriage and Spencer is saving himself for some cute boy from West Hollywood. No, not really.

As far as you know. Anyway, in the world that is Heidi and Spencer, they sleep together every night, in the same bed, and Spencer says they place pillows between them so they don't touch.

Riiiggggghhhtttt!!!!! What bullshit is this???? I swear these two publicity whores are way too much and should disappear from this world.... what a total waste of air these two.

Speaking of which, Heidi Montag is not only a virgin but she compares herself to Jesus Christ!!!! She told the Chicago Sun-Times of her feud with Lauren:

"There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted, ya know?"

Burn in hell bitch!!!!!!

CDAN

Prince And Princess Douchebags Does A Photo-Op Yet Again

Heidi and Spencer love to take everyday events and turn them into photo shoots so fucking retarded, you'll swear you've been huffing paint all morning. Here some hapless realtor is forced to take part in their shenanigans. But, then again, this man has no soul because he later lied to TMZ about Mr. and Mrs. Cockweasel's real estate potential:

So we thought it was a big publicity stunt, until we called the realtor who showed the property. Sandro Dazzan says they're "serious buyers," although he doesn't think they'll pull the trigger right away. Dazzan stunned us when he said they can afford the $12 million beach house right now, but that they're "at least six months" out from being able to afford the bigger house.

Serious buyers who won't pull the trigger. Interesting, Sandro. So, basically, Heidi showed you her boobs, and you agreed to pretend they've got money? Unless a commission shot out of her nipples, congratulations, you're an idiot. The only way these two can buy a house is if you let them pay in forced smiles and chin wax.

The Superficial

Leave These Douchebags In Iraq, If Ever They Go!!!!

If this isn't a sign that the troops need to come home then I don't know what is. Heidi Montag said that she's going to go to Iraq to perform for the troops. You know, because they haven't been through enough, so we might as well torture them with live singing from Heidi.

The plastic horsey told Extra (via People), “My brother was an airborne ranger in Afghanistan and Iraq. It’s very important to me and important to Spencer to support the troops and go over there." Heidi's stepbrother, who fought in Iraq, passed away last March after he fell off a roof in Colorado.

Spencer said that John McCain's daughter, Meghan, is going to help them get to Iraq, “I think Meghan McCain is helping organize Heidi and our Iraq trip. Her dad definitely has some pull with the military. I think she’s going to put that together for us.”

How about we send Twit and Twat to Guantanamo instead. They won't know the difference. That way we can lock them up and throw away the key. Nobody has to know! It will be America's little secret.

If Heidi Montag performs in Iraq, then the terrorists win.

DListed

Douchebag Wants You To Think He's Not A Douchebag

Spencer Pratt has apologized to Mary-Kate Olsen for calling her "the less cute twin."

Pratt, 24, fired off a tersely-written statement to Usmagazine.com after Olsen, 22, told David Letterman The Hills star used to throw temper tantrums during their high school soccer games.

"I apologize for getting caught up in trash talking, but she brought up an emotional subject when she mentioned the soccer stuff," Pratt tells Us exclusively.

"I know Dave was just doing his job in asking her," he went on. "He's the best in the game at that."

Pratt even admitted he was a bit envious of the twin.

"I respect Mary Kate as a business-woman," he said. "I'm secretly jealous of her. I want my face on a lunchbox, too!"

Sources told Us that the Olsen-Pratt fight began after he sold high school photos of a tipsy-appearing Olsen to Star magazine.

Spencer Pratt Is A Confirmed Douche Bag

Spencer Pratt has responded back to comments made about him on Letterman by Mary-Kate Olsen. I'm sure when he got the call he squealed "OMG! Me me me!" Then he pushed Heidi Montag in a puddle and kicked a puppy. I have sources. Anyway, here's what Captain Oily of Anal Brigade said to Us Magazine:

"I don't really get why she'd use my name to get press for her little indie film that no one's going to see," he told Usmagazine.com Friday. "She should probably focus more on not getting dressed in the dark than on me.
"I know I've made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman. I forgive her, though. She's had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough."

Okay, first off, Mary-Kate doesn't need Spencer for publicity. Heath Ledger covered that check. Second, who the hell is Spencer Pratt to call out an Olsen twin? Those two had a billion dollar video franchise before they realized they hate solid foods but love opiates. What has Spencer done? Besides being the boy who wished hard enough for his sister's Barbie doll to come to life. Horrible, vapid, man, he should've wished for G.I. Joe instead life.

Oh by the way, I can't stand putting a pic of this fugly couple.

The Superficial

Spencer Pratt Is A Retard And Should Share A Jail With Paris

Who is Spencer Pratt, you might ask.... exactly !!!! I too don't even know or care to know this guy after this.

Apparently this retard from the TV show "The Hills" wanted people to know and notice him by starting his online petition asking to free Skank Hilton.

Spencer said, "I've always thought that the punishment should fit the crime. Paris has changed her image dramatically over the last couple years. Now she is such a good role model and a smart business woman. So it's a shame that a miscommunication between her and her people is landing her in jail. She should get probation with community service, but no way should she be put in jail with real criminals."

A GOOD ROLE MODEL????????!!!!!!!!! What kind of stupid ass would actually think Paris Hilton is a role model??????? If I had a kid and she thinks Paris as her role model, oh dear, that kid would not be my kid anymore!!!!!!

Yeah Spencer.... good PR job for you.....

US Magazine