Pimpa Joe Simpson Must Be So Proud

Cheers to Jessica Simpson!

The singer-turned-professional pitchwoman has signed to be the new face of …. Stampede Light Plus beer.

Jessica will appear in ads in stores for the beer and is taking a 15% stake in the brewer. The terms were not disclosed.

“Yes, I work out and take care of myself,” said Jess in a statement, “but I also like a cold beer once in awhile.”

While Jessica may be banking some serious cash, the real star behind this deal is her father, papa Joe Simpson. From being a Baptist minister to marketing his daughters dressed as tramps to now hawking beer. Anything for the almighty dollar, huh, Joe? Jesus must really be proud.

Faded Youth

Guess Who Thinks She's The New Julia Roberts???

With a failing career, a movie going straight to DVD with possibly another one, Jessica Simpson wants to be the next Julia Roberts. Even her father thinks so too.... LOL

A source tells U.S. magazine OK!, "She think this one’s got hit written all over it. (Her father) Joe has been telling anyone who will listen that she’s the next Julia Roberts."

Oh please..... go away already.... you and your father thought you were going to be a great success thus you dumped your husband..... guess what? Nick Lachey's career is moving up....and he's moved on. Karma bitch Karma.... What a really really dump blonde.

PR Inside

Straight To DVD....Obviously

Joe Simpson, the man responsible for Jessica and Ashlee, is seeing his Hollywood mogul dreams crumble as his production company, Papa Joe Productions, hemorrhages money to create very bad films.

Papa Joe Productions is currently unable to finance a real photo shoot for its newest feature, Major Movie Star, so an image of the film’s lead, Jessica Simpson, was borrowed from an old GQ. And insiders are saying Major – like Jessica’s other recent movie, Blonde Ambition – is headed straight to DVD.

She really needs her new album to do well,” said [a] source. “Otherwise, she’s going to have big career problems.”

Otherwise???????? LOL!!!!!

Mollygood

Pimpa Joe Is Pimping Jessica.....

A fellow partygoer told Us Weekly magazine: "Joe was chatting to a handsome guy and told him Jessica was single. He gave the hunk his assistant’s number and said he’d set him up with her."

Damn!!!!! Perhaps he wanted to have a threesome.........

PR Inside

Pimpa Joe Is An Asshole

From CDAN:

I was actually going to be nice to Pimpa today and say something pleasant about how he rushed to Ashlee's aid when she was knocked over by a bouncer in a Las Vegas club. See, Pimpa who had been turned down by every woman in the club already decided that it was time to leave, so he and Pete and Ashlee started making their way out of the club. At the exit to the club there was a little fracas and Ashlee ended up getting pushed and so Pete and Pimpa went off. Understandable, and if it stopped there, I would say good job Joe. (see no Pimpa)

But, as he was leaving he said the bouncers did it because they are "just mad they make $12 an hour." Ahh Joe. Yes, they make $12 an hour or less and have to work until the wee hours of the morning breaking up fights and cleaning up puke. They have to deal with jerks like you and your brood who think they are entitled to be treated better than every other human on earth even though you contribute nothing. That means unlike you, they work hard for their money Pimpa. Often they have two jobs and get very little sleep in order to provide for their families. So while you travel all over the world living off your daughters, their more talented boyfriends, and turning them out so they look as close to hookers as possible while you hit on every skirt that moves or is passed out, go ahead and make the crack about some guy not making very much.

I bet when you were a pastor and preaching to a congregation of $12 an hour workers and trying to sucker their money out of them to finance your daughters' career you didn't criticize them for making $12 an hour. Instead you were saying they made too much and needed to give some of that to the church of the Pimpa. How times have changed huh Pimpa?

Take My Daddy Says Jessica To Britney

Apparently Joe Simpson is not getting any from Jessica Simpson that he wants Britney Spears now.

Rush & Molly is reporting that Joe tried to set up a meeting with Brit Brit over the weekend to discuss her being without a manager. Somehow somewhere an angel is looking after Brit Brit since this didn't happen.

Anyways, Joe Simpson's rep denies all this. Sure!!!! Now that Joe can't make any more money out of her talentless daughters, he's now looking for true talents to exploit.

Yeah Joe Simpson did such a great job managing Jessica's and Ashlee's career and he just wants to take in another.....

Word of advise to Brit Brit..... don't answer your phone and no meetings with Joe Simpson.

See Daddy Joe Check Ashlee's Boobs

Is he or isn't he?

Joe Simpson Loves This Pic

Ashlee nip slip while in Hawaii vacationing.


Source

TMZ Reports that Daddy Joe the Pimp is totally pissed with her bitch, I mean Jessica Simpson, for turning down a paying gig for NYE at Pure.

A source tells TMZ the family tiff started when Vegas' PURE nightclub contacted Joe to have Jess host a New Year's Eve party for what we are told was a large sum of money. Jessica wasn't interested in working on the holiday, says our source, and told Pops she wanted to spend a mellow New Year's sans glitz and glamour. With her recent Kennedy Center Honors debacle, film flop and tanking music career, the girl's had a rough year!

When Papa Joe found out baby Jessica's idea of a quiet night at home meant canoodling with Mayer at various NYC hotspots, the minister turned Svengali was livid -- not because she was with her new boy, but because she partied -- for free!
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Here we go again...... this dumb blonde should start getting wiser...LOL!!!!!! Oh dear, did I just say wiser? Anyways, here mis my advise to Jessica again: Dump your Pimp Daddy!!!! Look at your fugly sister? It looks like she's taking control of her life without your Daddy Pimp? But then again, I might just be wrong.

Jess's Dad Sells Her For Football Tickets

JESSICA Simpson's famously meddling father, Joe Simpson, has done it again, starting a rumour his daughter is dating a footballer to score tickets, The New York Post's Page 6 has reported.

Mr Simpson started the rumor that his daughter was dating Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo, according to Page 6.

Dear old daddy reportedly let Romo name-drop Jessica in exchange for game tickets, and the two have never even met.

Page 6 affirms that in reality, Romo is dating A.I. finalist Carrie Underwood, and Simpson was just spotted again with John Mayer.

This time around the two "buddies" were shopping for jewellery at Barney's on Madison Ave in New York.

Mr Simpson, a former Baptist minister, in a recent interview with GQ magazine, said about his daughter: "Jessica never tries to be sexy.

"She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!"

Source

New Year resolution for Jessica: Drop your Dad as your manager!!!! He didn't do anything for your career and is making you look like a loser and a ho, which btw, you kind of are now. Remember, he also messed up your marriage!!! Geez, are you really that dumb? Don't answer that... we know the answer already.

Jessica Was Bitch-Slapped By Mom

Ok not really but TMZ reports Mommy wasn't happy with her dimwitted daughter's performance.

Sources tell TMZ that Tina Simpson was furious with Jess after she flubbed lyrics, stood statue-still on stage while trying to hold her dress up, and then awkwardly hurried off with a few mumbled words to Parton. Tina told her daughter that the performance was "embarrassing" and "unprofessional," and mom was further incensed because Jessica had missed a dress rehearsal and hadn't adequately learned lyrics to the song -- which necessitated cue cards at the front of the stage. Jessica can be clearly seen reading from the cards during her performance.

She also told Jessica that she should get out of the business if she doesn't want to put in the work. LOL!!!!!! Apparently Daddy dearest thinks the performance was "cute". Of course he does. Meanwhile, it was rumored that he called at least two weekly celebrity rag and offered them the "opportunity" to feature Jessica reading their mag in a scene in the upcoming (straight to DVD)film "Blonde Ambition" for $10,000 payable to "Joe Simpson".

Well, with regards to Jessica's perfomance, Dolly Parton released a statement in which she waved off Simpson's nerve-wracked rendition of "9 to 5." "Jessica is so talented that I'm sure that someday they will be paying tribute to her and I would be honored to perform for her," said Parton. "But I'll probably be so nervous that I'll forget my wig!"

Now that's a class act!!!!!

TMZ
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